also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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