Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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