i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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