Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
