Soap is not a condiment
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
as a side note pls kill me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
