Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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