so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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