I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I need to sanitize my soul.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
