Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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