my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
