put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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