Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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