Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
