I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
When are your genitals available?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
