I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
