So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
