I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
