You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So many bounce houses so little time
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
