I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
