You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
