We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
