Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
