we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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