Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize