let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
