every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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