On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
