thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
