She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
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He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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