yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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