You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
