my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
