Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
