so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
