There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
