Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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