I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
