Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
