he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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