I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
