so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she peed on how many people?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
