He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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