Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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