Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
