Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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