Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
