Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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