Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
