what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
