your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize