What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
