Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
