it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She's the barista slut.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
