His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My penis needs a shock collar
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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