A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
