Please, let me fuck your mom
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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