lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
