just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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