I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
