; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
