You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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