i barfeds in our rink
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
