my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize