how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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