I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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