if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
