Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
