Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
